Demissio was the second instalment of my short mental health series, this time showing what depression could feel like for some people, everybody experiencing it differently. That's what made it harder for me when writing the script for it compared to Ango- which focused solely on general anxiety disorder (GAD). I had consulted many people in the lead up to writing the script for the short, including local mental health charities and friends of mine to learn the differences, alongside a pro-longed research period before writing began.

Overall, the film took roughly six months to make from the decision to make the film to the final product. I experimented a lot more in this film with the production values and post-production, asking for a lot of advice from friends in the industry when it came to lighting and achieving what I wanted- getting the message across that depression affects everyone differently and this is only one way, ultimately asking those to expand their view of depression and break the stereotypical vision they had.

I feel that when writing I draw from personal experiences, but for Demissio I was unable too, instead it came from others people's stories, that I will forever be grateful too for being kind and strong enough to share with me and allowing me to voice their story in a way that they felt they were unable too. The vast difference between Demissio and Ango is that this time I reached out to local mental health charities and professionals and asked for advice, the writing and concept being harder to decide than Ango. Lines within the film are taken directly from people's stories, they're true and untouched.

The reaction to Demissio was more overwhelming than the reaction I had to Ango, so thank you to everyone who watches and I hope you're able to take something away from the film as I intended. Currently the final instalment of the series is being written and is aimed to be released by the end of the year.

If you are suffering with mental health as discussed in Ango and Demission please use the following websites to seek help.

If you are within the UK you can use the following websites to seek help:
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-s...
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can...
https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/wha...


If your not in the UK you can use the following website to seek help:
https://www.centreforglobalmentalheal...

So, a couple of days ago I turned 18- a big milestone in the fact that I am now legally an adult, which is a little bit weird for me to say...well write. My birthday celebrations were amazing to say the least, something I'll never forget. The thing that had me a little bit on edge just before my 18th birthday was the sudden change in how much responsibility I had and the freedom that came with it. Each birthday since turning 16 there was something else you could legally do that gave you the most excitement \I guess, for example, last year was being able to learn how to drive. This year I feel the responsibility and freedom is a little bit on the heavier side not that I am a legal adult and am now responsible for myself.

I did a similar post to this last year shortly after I turned 17 and I've learned a few things since then so I thought it was about time that I updated it...



1. Your mum is one of your first best friends and knows the most about you
2. Removing negativity is easier said then done
3. Confidence comes when you learn how to self-love
4. Don't let anyone tell you that your emotions are invalidated because they don't feel the same
5. If your dreams don't scare you then they aren't big enough
6. change is never going to be easy
7. say yes to the things that scare you
8. appreciate the little things in life
9. you have enough time to do everything you want- trust me.
10. push yourself, don't expect others to do it for you
11. stop living in the past, let things go and move on
12. learn to say no.
13. quality over quantity
14. communication is one of the best things to do, relationships rely on it.
15. some people don't deserve more than one chance
16. actions will always speak louder than words
17. always follow your gut instinct
18. realise when you're doing too much and take a step back.

If you asked me back in 2016 if I thought I'd still be blogging in 2018, then my answer would've probably been no. Originally I started it just for the summer to cure my boredom before developing a passion for it and wanting to continue.

I started blogging because I was inspired by those before me, who I have mentioned on a few occasions which you can find here. In a day and age where media and influencers predominately revolve around platforms such as YouTube, I wanted to begin on a platform that I could grow on at a slower rate beforehand, testing the waters if you will. I love YouTube, however at this point in my life I can't see myself vlogging my life and being the next 'Zoella' or someone who aspires to be her. I use YouTube to promote my films and only that. Blogging was something that appealed to me due to its simplicity and complexity at the same time, it allowed me to explore multiple things at once without a time constraint. Perhaps one day I'll venture into YouTube alongside my blog, but at the moment not so much.

Like I said, originally I started blogging to cure boredom but over the last 2 years it's meaning has become something so much more. In those two years this blog has achieved so much already, one of the biggest milestones was hitting 5,000 total views last year, but my plans for this blog go even more down the road of success. Currently as writing the blog is at 6,100+ total views while writing, I'm estimating that it'll hit 10,000 by the end of the year with its current growth. I want my blog to go a lot further and I hope that it will, but it'll always be about fun for me on here, and staying transparent and authentic. I'd say my blogging style has changed a lot, and is currently changing once again.

Growth happens whether we like it or not. When I first started I didn't really know what I was doing, I'm still learning to this day about what to write and what posts I prefer and what posts the readers of my blog prefer too. Change helps. Change is good. I'm personally a big fan of it. In terms of my writing style, I prefer writing longer blog posts, but it's not always possible to do so, or I'm battling writer's block. I'm branching out in terms of my blogging style, creeping into new area's that weren't originally part of my blog when I first started. This change has happened alongside my own personal growth and wanting to add things I was passionate about to my blog, and hopefully that come across in my writing.

I remember a time where I was very stressed and panicked to try positing a blog post every day for Blogmas. I wanted to challenge myself and I did. I stated last year that I wouldn't be doing it that year, however this year I'm up for it again. Maybe a little bit more relaxed this time around...maybe.

Blogging not only has made me more creative, it's an outlet when I'm stressed and it's made me more confident. Another funny little thing I've noticed is that since I've had my blog my English grade improved as did my writing, I don't know for sure if the two are linked but I'll take it. This little blog, my little space on the internet, has managed to inspire some of you which amazes me and motivates me to make more and improved content. I'm defiantly not the same blogger I once was, is anyone?

Though my blogging schedule and how I sometimes go through phrases of uploading regularly to disappearing for a while, I do love blogging and my passion for it has only grown. This year I made it one of my resolutions to spend more time on it and plan further ahead, which so far I think I kind of have. I'm still learning and always will be.

My entire blog has gone through two major layout changes in its time, the most recent this past weekend. With two new added sections further allowing my blog to grow, I can only hope that you continue to enjoy, love and support this blog as you have from day one and continue to join me on this little blog's journey to bigger things.

If you've been following this blog for a while then you may be aware of my blogging habits and how I have sometimes disappeared for a short, maybe a few months, period of time. I'm not going to lie and say that it's easy to manage a blog and three A-levels at once, because it's clearly very not. When I first started this blog I posted when I wanted too and didn't really think of an audience let alone a blog schedule. Last year my blog became more beauty and lifestyle central before I introduced film into it all. There are a lot of posts on my blog that were very rushed and I admit that I'm not happy or content with any of them, knowing full well that they're nowhere near the standard I hold for myself or what I think a true reflection of my blog posts are. This year I'm transitioning my blog into something that I can completely fall in love with, accounting for my readership and myself.

I've tried writing heavily in advance, but then I forgot to post or share them on social media and it turned into this constant cycle of forgetfulness. Before my life being completely taken over by school work and life in general. Anyone remember when I did Blogmas and I had a complete burnout? Yeah I do. I think I'm partly recovering even though it was over a year ago. That was rough. School is rough. Life is rough.  Blogging incorporates so much, writing posts are very time-consuming, let alone coming up with the content, keeping in mind making blog graphics and taking photos, responding to emails and comments. It's a very "active" hobby and passion to have. I've been lucky enough to recently connect with some of you and understand what you'd like to see me post on here and its inspired and motivated me to get this little blog back in check and running properly again.

So, why I have some motivation to do just that I thought I'd write a little list of things I've found out that work for me when I go through these little phases of not being caught up in day-to-day life when it comes to blogging.

1. COMMITTING TO ONCE A WEEK

After Blogmas and trying to post three times a week, and quickly burning out, I've recently tried to post once a week and its working for me. It means I have a commitment to keep up, and it allows me to develop quality content that you guys enjoy rather than stressing to try and get three less quality posts up in one week. Quality over quantity aye. I felt guilty if I didn't get blog posts up on time and I got bored very quickly.

I've ditched the whole 'schedule' aspect and just tried to focus on the quality, because that's the most important element at the end of the day. If I have a lot of blog post ideas and I have written in advance then there will probably be more than one a week, or if there is a time constraint on when you can post a blog post, for example a seasonal one then they'll be exceptions, but I'm not going to put unnecessary stress on myself.

2. BLOG POST MASTERLIST

Oh yes, I have one and I am constantly adding to it and coming up with new ideas. This has helped me a lot and technically my blog posts are planned until Christmas. It's very easy to not blog when you have no ideas, and fall into the pattern or in my sake habit of disappearing for months at a time. I've used Todoist for years, for school and revision lists to now my blog.

3. TODOIST

Leading on from the previous point, I use todosit religiously. I've recommended it to friends and family for near enough everything. It works a treat. I have it on my phone and my computer, it helps to have the priority feature and 'projects'. It's amazing and I highly recommend it.



4. MAKING THE TIME

What's the purpose of making a to-do list if you then don't make the time to get it all done? I always plan my revision around school hours, normally leaving blogging to the weekend where I have the most spare time and I'm relaxed, being able to get things done quicker for some reason. I think its because I don't have the constant stress of school so much surrounding me at this point of the week. Saturdays are my blogging days, predominately when I'm watching TV so I'm multi-tasking at its best. And then I don't have to think about it for a week.

5. FOLLOWING SIMILAR BLOGS

Personally, I get motivated when I follow like-minded people and blogs similar to that of mine. I loose motivation when I get heavily loaded with school work and struggle to find time to write, easily falling out of the blogging mind-set. Seeing fellow bloggers uploading frequently inspires me to do it and vice-versa, it's a wonderful community and I'm very happy to be part of it.